Obama speech edits

As a group we noticed that a lot of Obama's edits added a mixture of emotion and accountability to his speech through the edits. He often tried to convey to the audience that his statements were not broad generalizations, that they were from real people with feelings. Obama made many attempts to unify American belief on politics, that no matter which party one is from, everyone can agree to values such as good will. On top of this, Obama tacks on his own political agenda to these 'unifying' statements. For example, adding on "that only government can ensure" to an example of something that everyone stands for.

Obama speech

We think he made the revisions that he made to make the speech more personal and relatable to the audience. For example when he says “But those of us who knew Teddy” The way he says us and Teddy. We also think he made the speech more comprehensive to the audience. Also he gave very relatable examples for the listeners. We also agree with the blogger when he says the government "has to step in to help deliver."

Obama's Speech

We think that he made the changes to make the audience feel included, to engage them, both Republicans and Democrats. One line, Obama adds "I know that many in this country..." This addition shows that he wants to make his speech personal. He is not delivering it as a fact, but letting the audience know that he knows this, just as they do.

No one in our group really follows politics, so we don't have much of an opinion about the bloggers interpretation of this speech. We do, however, agree with the second paragraph's points about his drawing individuals as "active agents," because we feel that is important in relating to and engaging the audience.

Overall, Obama made the speech more familiar.
Makes it more listener friendly
Revisions pulled it all together
More personal
"That large-heartedness -- that concern and regard for the plight of others -- is not a partisan feeling"
Unified audience
"members of Congress -- Democrats and Republicans -- did not back down. They joined together so that all of us could enter our golden years with some basic peace of mind."

Obama in class readings

We think that he made the changes mainly becuase he wanted to make his speech more personal to the reader and make it more engaging and captivating to the audience. It tugs on the heart strings.

We as a group agreed with what the blogger was saying. We think he hit the ball on the head with his thoughts and ideas of what Obama had in mind in why he did what he did. We agreed alot on the blogger saying that Obama wanted to add more detail and more of a personal touch to his words. He really wanted to engage the readers and make it as personal as he was able to.

What Obama did to the draft

Vince feels that Obama made the changes so his speech didn't make it seem like he is talking down to the audience, making his speech more personable. Vince also agrees with Obama's changes and feels that it makes his speech sound more relateable. Obama attempted to put himself on the same level as the people he is talking to. For example, when he added 'of us' to the first line.

I feel that Obama's changes are a bit manipulative. You can make anyone agree with what you are saying by the way you say it. In this case, I feel like Obama is trying to appeal to the audiences emotions more so than the content of the speech. The blogger states that the President repeadedly added feelings and thoughts to specific people or groups of people. I think there is a time and place for appealing to one's emotions, but I don't agree that in a speech given by the President is appropriate.

Obama's Edits - Response.

We think that Obama's edits helped the speech sound more personable. He made it apply to everyone - Democrats and Republicans. We think that he wanted to help his audience feel a sense of unity. Some worked with Ted Kennedy and knew what he stood for, and Obama's goal was to simply remind them of that. The matter was something that both Republicans and Democrats agreed on and worked together toward.

The blogger says pretty much the same thing:

"He drew individuals, members of Congress generally, and the American people as active agents into a joint national project of compassion and positive action."

Obama also spoke in first person throughout his speech saying things like, "I know," "us" and "we" making himself sound credible and relatable.

He thinks that through Obama's edits, he gave his audience a sense of "YEAH! We can do this!" Obama mentioned that hard work should pay off and the blogger felt that Obama gave a feeling of hope when he said, "the government has to step in and deliver on that promise."

So as a group, we agree with the blogger.

A&P

I really enjoyed how John Updike explained what he seen, it was as if I was in his position seeing everything that he did. The way he desscribes the girls and the view of outside the door. I always enjoy reading stories that are very visual becuase then it gives you a feel of what it looked like in their point of view as they wrote the story. I also like how he stood up for himself and quit becuase of how the manager was reacting to the way the girls were dressed in his store, but kinda sad too that he would take such a big step just because of some girl he thought was pretty and didn't even know..

I am glad that we were able to read something that was fun and not really contributed to academics, sometimes it's nice to read something that you may be interesteed in. It keeps me focused on the story when i read soemthing like that opposed to something that wasn't entertaining at all.

A&P

I feel like Sammy was an typical 18 year old guy. He was think poorly and acted impulsively. He was more worried about the girls that walked into the store than his own job. I feel that he was not acting rational and thinking logically. I don't think that he should have chose the girls than his job because the job is more important at the moment. His parents is friends with the store owner so he is probably going to get in trouble when he gets home. I found him to be childish and foolish
I however liked the story and thought it was well written. I found it nice to read a short story and take a break form the academic article. I liked the story but found Sammy's gramar a little annoying while readding.

Thoughts and Questions on A&P

1. We have decided that the end feels more frustrating than anything else. Sammy now has to find another job on his own, and start over somewhere else. When he said, "I quit," I'm sure he felt liberated and relieved that he was finally done with that place, but once he got outside and looked back I feel like he regretted his decision.

3. This story really shows Sammy's personality, and therefore, his identity. Throughout the story we get to read his thoughts and see what he's thinking. He ends up quitting his job because he was upset that his boss embarrassed the girls in the store. I feel like he wanted to impress them and be the person they might want him to be, but it didn't work. Once he got outside of the store, he realized that he now has to find a new identity and a new place of work because he just threw his job away for a girl he will probably never see again.

5. As a group, we have decided that we would not have made the same decision. Even though he tried to be the hero, it didn't work out for him. It was a stupid decision that he couldn't take back. Keeping a job and trying to keep your boss happy (even when they are stupid) is a little more important than a scantily clad girl and her friends. They shouldn't have been going around town in just their bikinis anyway - it was in the 1960's, for goodness sake. Hahahahah.

Updike Discussion

1. The ending is liberating and risk-filled and it's kind of a writ of passage for Sammy because he made a change in his life. He's moving on to a new stage in life.

3. We think the piece fits with identity by his observations of people and giving them instant identities. He identifies people by how they dress and how they move and then gives everyone a profile. For example, there's a queen bee and she has two worker bees following behind her. He also gives the people he's annoyed with identities.

5. If we were Sammy we would probably still have quit, but looked for another job first. His decision was very spontaneous, but we think he wanted to be spontaneous for once because he was afraid he would end up like his boss.

A&P In-Class Questions

1) He was making a huge deal about quiting his job, when realistically he was only 19 years old and will have plenty of other opportunities to get a better job. We think he will get over it and it is not as bad as he thinks it is. It is sad in his perspective, but to us it is liberating because now he can pursue a better paying job.



2) His boss told him that he was making a mistake by quiting, but he didn't care and proceeded to quit. When he could have sucked it up and just kept his job and not try to impress the girls. We disagree with Gilbert, because it was more of a naive decision, trying to be the big shot. It came down to him being left by himself.



5) If it came down to us being in this position, we would not have gone about it the same way. We would have reinforced the managers orders to the girls and then continued to work.

The People Watchers

1. He seems like a realist in the end in comparasion to the beginning and middle of the text. It seemed like he had always wanted to quit his job but this story gave him a profound reason to quit his job at the grocey store. The story was bitter-sweet because he has to come to reality at some point and realize what is going on.

3. He seems to be able to see others identites because people fall into a certain pattern after a while espeicially in the grocery store where you see people shopping in a grocery store every day. The setting of the grocery store never changes but the people who enter it and leave it do change which could give Sammy upper hand on seeing one's identity.

4. Writing in that intense detail is very interesting because it is evident that someone can get so lost in the moment with explaining one simple story. The purpose of the details is to give the reader a good image of what Sammy saw through his own eyes as well as the feelings he was going through at the time.

Response to A&P

1. The two senses we felt from the end of this story were liberating and eye-opening. Sammy is realizing that he cannot grow up and mature in a job he hates, just because he was given the job. This realization and risk-taking is liberating. Also, Sammy realized, after taking this risk, that though it was necessary, this would lead to some tough times. This closing line is eye-opening for Sammy.
2. Porter sees Sammy's decision as one to live "honestly and meaningfully." In a way, we agree because if you disagree with the politics at your job it may be best for you to quit. However, quitting because his boss embarrassed a girl is very different than quitting a corrupt law firm - that would be living honestly and meaningfully.
4. The detail in this story helps to build the reader's interpretation of the character's identities. We also see more of Sammy's identity, not only in his decisions through out the story, but also in the way that he assumes things about the girls based on their descriptions.

A&P group review

1. Sammy was a bit upset and frustrated with his decision of quitting his job. He did it with the intentions of becoming the young girls' hero but, as we out, that wasn't the case. His boss also said that you don't want to do this to your parents and, as sammy said, was true. So, at the end we think that he realized he made a quick decision that he probably should have thought more about it.

2. We feel that Sammy did not quit his job for the right reason. Sammy wasn't living meaningfully because the meaning was not interpretted by the girls. He wanted to be their heroes, however, it really doesn't affect them longterm like it would Sammy.

5. We both agree that we would not have quit because it wasn't that big of a situation. We can understand if the boss was being extremely rude to the girls, but he had to tell them they couldn't come into the store again unless they are in clothing. We think that's a very reasonable request.

A & P Questions

1.)We think that the ending of the story kind of sucked for Sammy. he ended up not catching the girl's attention and subsequently did not have a job. The end of the story was both liberating and frustrating because you put yourself out there and get shot down by the girls and don't have a job.

2.) We disagree with Porter, because Sammy put himself out there honestly and got nothing out of it.

3.)Sammy changed his own identity from being a reserved person but then came out and spoke up in front of the girls.

4.) The purpose of the details in the story is to bring meaning to Sammy's decisions in the story. If there were not any details we would question the decision making of Sammy. On the other hand, he might not have wanted to end up like his friend who was 22 and was already married and had kids.

5.)If we were Sammy, we wouldn't have made the same decision because it was a such a small thing for him to quit his job and be left out in dust.

A&P

I rather enjoyed this piece of writing. The overly critical and detailed descriptions of the girls really made me connect with this piece. I often find myself describing people in much the same way in my mind, but not so much in my writing. If my inner thoughts were to spew onto paper it would look something like Updike's writing.

I also feel that being kind to people is far more important than any job in the world, although he may have been intereseted in being more than kind. In my experience being a good person gets you alot furthur in life than always being a stickler for the rules or even being arrogant.

If givin hte same situation I probably would not have done the same as him, and thats simply because he overthought the situation. I liked his passion but it was a little misplaced. He was hoping to impress that girl, but personally I have bigger problems than that, bills and what have you. In conclusion, I like the writing, like the personality behind it, but would not have the guts to quit myself.

A&P (The people watchers)

I enjoyed reading this story because I used to talk to people and also write like the author did with intense detail, except for me it would be grammatically incorrect in the eyes of "error" by Williams. I feel like "people watching" can almost be a hobby for some people, however I do mean that as you just watch people without having any desire of poking fun or scrutinizing them. I know for a fact in Georgia sometimes when I go to the mall with family or friends we will eat in the food court but in the middle where you see everyone pass by while eating. We essentially will talk about those people while eating but not in a rude manner.

For instance, I am someone who rarely uses the word "cute" in anything, no pun intended, but when I was at the mall one day I ended up seeing two little twins about 3 years old eating in big chairs pretending to be there parents. When one of the brothers had dropped his napkin I heard the other one say to him, "it's OK brother I'll get you another one." and they just went on pretending to be adults. That to me is something I had considered cute.

My depiction from above is kind of what I used to type and write like except worse. Lastly I also feel that sometimes just observing people who might not be wearing or acting like what you might think is normal, can help open one's eyes to how different we all really are and that we do in fact have our own identity's.

A & P

I really enjoyed Updick's piece. The way he described the girls was unique and very entertaining. It had a 'cool' way of describing what he saw and it was very creative. I also think it was very brave yet stupid of him to quit. He was young and needed that job so to go to that extreme over girls in bathing suits shows how young of a man he really was. The last sentence of the story, i feel, shows a sign of regret. And who knows, he may have even felt that way if the girls were still outside waiting for him. I don't know what exactly the point of the story was, whether it had a point or if it was just purely entertainment but I did enjoy it.

A&P

I enjoyed reading A&P. I thought it was a good story with a lot of detail.He was really able to draw you in and make you feel like you were there.I also thought that his nickname for some of the people were vary funny.
However the weird spacing and random dots through out the paper got rather annoying after a while. Which is weird for me because usually mistakes don't bother me because I know I make plenty of my own.

Somewhere Someone is Thinking About You

Once I read this piece by John Updike, I couldn't help but fall in love with the way he describes the girls. Sometimes readers skip over huge paragraphs of text just because it is boring and describes something insignificant. But I find beauty in text like that. The author puts so much effort into describing all of the senses he or she is experiencing and all of the the beauty or horror or other feeling that they are encountering. In those few pages that Updike wrote, I felt the yearning that Sammy felt. I felt the embarrassment that Queenie endured. At the end, I was even able to feel the same exact way Sammy would after he walked out and "felt how hard the world was going to be to [him] hereafter."

I have read a piece written by Henry Rollins that I thought of when I realized Sammy tried but did not get what he desired. He put all of this effort into explaining the girls but never was recognized by them after he "heroically" quit his job. Rollins also describes his muse in such detail that the reader can feel it and that sensation, no matter what it is, follows them for a little bit. The piece is:

Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have.

Even though I think he was trying to do something morally right, Sammy put himself under the bus by quitting his job. If the girls were unattractive, I think he might have not stood up to his boss and would have continued his monotonous job and mundane life as it was before. I'm not sure what Updike's purpose was for writing this piece, but I think he did put out a message, whether good or bad, of watching what and for whom you stand up.

A and P

I'm jealous of the characters in this story just for the fact that the story is set in the summer! I hate the winter haha. I hate it so much that I may move south someday. I might be exaggerating a bit, but it's quite a production to get ready to go outside sometimes. You gotta put all your gear on and psych yourself up for the weather that awaits you. I like the line where he explains it's much cooler to make an exit in the summertime than in the winter.

"One advantage to this scene taking place in summer, I can follow this up with a
clean exit, there's no fumbling around getting your coat and galoshes..."

I think the funniest part of the whole thing was when he thought those three girls would hear him say "I quit!" and think he was the most dreamy guy ever.

I find it amusing that he nicknames everyone not 5 seconds after they come into his line of vision. Then, he varies people's nicknames between Queen and Queenie or Stokes and Stoksie. The way he describes things is amusing as well. It's very descriptive, and I can picture and recall the scene very well.

It would be a bit of a spectacle to see girls in their swimsuits at a grocery store, at least when you first seem them. I imagine young people and old people have different views on this. We know the narrator didn't mind it. I would probably say, "Eww gross, they don't have shoes on. That's disgusting." Haha. Other than that, it's not a complete shock if it's a beachtown. Though, the girls were being rebels and not adhering to the no shoes, no shirt, no service policy the A & P probably has.

I wonder how old those three girls are supposed to be. My best guess is 15 bare minimum... since the narrator is 19.

A & P

I really liked this selection written by John Updike. I feel that so many people can relate to it regardless if you worked in a grocery store or some other type of retail. I know I’ve been in this position plenty of times just walking around campus or sitting down to eat somewhere. You feel like just by seeing someone you can figure out they’re personality or motives.

Another thing that I really liked about this selection was when he quit his job. The feeling of “coolness” he feels right when he quits is so quickly wiped away when the girls just kept walking out of the store. This is another thing that I feel a lot of people can compare to as well. There have been times when I at first thought that a decision I was about to make was going to be great, but then quickly regretted soon thereafter. Coming up with a joke in your head that you think will be great but turns out to be either horribly awkward or just plain old unfunny is a perfect example of this situation.

Updike's A&P

As I read this short story by Updike I felt like maybe I’ve read it before. I think that I had to read it in high school for something but I don’t really remember. Anyways I enjoyed this reading much more than Williams! I liked the amount of detail and descriptors he used though out this piece. As I read I found myself noticing errors. Mainly just a few spacing errors and maybe a few punctuation errors that I questioned, then I thought to myself these errors are more apparent from reading Williams article. Besides those, the overall story was entertaining. I really liked the detail he used, it kept me reading and being able to visualize what he was talking about was nice. I think that if he hadn’t used the amount of descriptors that he did, the story wouldn’t be the same. Not only would it be shorter but it would be boring. The detail took a simple event of quitting a job and the events that caused it into a five-page short story. I was not expecting the end at all, even though I believe I have read it before. I didn’t really care for the end though. I thought it was short and bland compared to the beginning. Updike did at great job painting a picture with his words. Stories that do this tend to be my favorite. I also like that it is just a short story and how entertaining it is. It is entertaining even though it is simply describing the events that led up to the character quitting his job.

A & P

I found this story very humorous, probably because it is so relatable. I've been working at a small grocery store for the past year and a half, and I get the same kind of customers. There are always old ladies waiting for you to mess up, and the second you do she calls you out on your mistake. There are always people who mosey around and stop to watch when something out of the ordinary happens. And, there are always people that catch your eye and you can't wait for them to be done shopping so that maybe, just maybe, they will choose your register.

While I'm at work, I notice the smallest things about my customers - the chipped nail polish on their nails, the slight stain on their collar, the grimace they always wear... I take all of those details I see along with the amount and type of food they are buying, and I imagine their lives before I even realize what I'm doing.

This woman came in the other day and bought ginger ale, popsicles, bananas, tea, and bread. I don't know if she has a family and I don't even know her name. All of the sudden I asked, "Is one of your children sick?" She looked at me quizzically and said, "Yeah, my 5-year-old has the flu." I wanted to ring up her things as quickly as possible so that she could get home to her child. It may not seem that odd to you, but it was the weirdest thing. For a second, it was like I knew her - but I don't.

The narrator of that story felt so in tune with those three girls ("Queenie" especially) that he quit his job because his manager had embarrassed them. That is a creepy kind of dedication.

Despite the different annoyances and injustices that transpire throughout my day, I am comfortable there. I got the job because my best friend's mom is one of the office managers. My best friend works there as well. I would not have the same courage and audacity to just quit my job like that. I hate it sometimes, but I haven't gotten to the point where I would just say, "I quit," and walk out the door. While I know it would be a good decision for me to get out of IGA and do things on my own, I need to muster a little more courage first. I do admire the narrator for being so spontaneous like that. It wasn't until he had actually walked out that he even gave his actions a second thought.