Shared Motivation

I think I could understand Orwell and why he write better than I did with Joan Didion's reason. I got the impression that Orwell wrote so he could have an escape from his lonesome life. He used this as a way of challenging himself, too. The easier pieces of work gave him no satisfaction. "To begin with there was the made-to-order stuff which I produced quickly, easily and without much pleasure to myself." I agree with him whole heartily because I write to take myself somewhere else or to free my mind of nonsensical thoughts, but that is my free writing. I enjoy writing other papers and essays because it helps me think and it challenged me, yet entertains me. "When I was about sixteen I suddenly discovered the joy of mere words, i.e. the sounds and associations of words...and the spelling ‘hee’ for ‘he’ was an added pleasure." Skipping around in his reading, I found that Orwell wrote for himself. He wanted to write, not to please others, but to please himself. Once again, I agree with this statement. I want to write for myself and write in my own style, even though I will cave into what others want (such as teachers) once in a while.
I can understand Joan's troubles, though. She talks about being distracted, and that I can relate to. When the time comes, I can and will sit down and focus, but before the final countdown begins, I will dillydally as long as I can with other, more eventful things. The one thing she said, though, is that writing is an act of saying "I." I don't agree with this whatsoever. In high school, I had to write a persuasive paper for something I did not believe in. I wrote that paper because I had to, but I did not say "See this topic MY way" or "Think the way I do." I did it because it was a chance to expose the reader to a different mindset, but it doesn't have to be my own.